omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Naked. naked and bneed help.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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