I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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