If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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