Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
