Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
