Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
