I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
