Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
