I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
