Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
