please come you make the beer taste better
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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