I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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