She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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