I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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