idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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