Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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