never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
