your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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