Cold hands, warm shart.
If i come over, it means nothing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
