I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
