it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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