come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
