What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
