you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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