Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize