THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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