it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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