i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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