I hope mine doesn't look like that
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
