Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
