Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize