Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
