you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
