nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
50% drunk capacity currently
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
