I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
