I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
