I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
