My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Im part way to drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
