Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your cock deserves a montage
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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