I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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