Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
