They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
