Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sobbing to NWA
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
