I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
