hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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