My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
