i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
