You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
