What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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