I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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