i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
