so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize