i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
