You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's not a walk of shame if you run
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
