Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
