We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
