names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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