Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
