Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
