Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
do herpes really smell.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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