Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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