I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize