Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
